


All My Scars

by Perfect_Insanity



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Rick Grimes fluff, rick grimes - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 07:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15043775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perfect_Insanity/pseuds/Perfect_Insanity
Summary: Your trust issues and insecurities make loving Rick Grimes hard as you're convinced he's too good for you. But he's determined to help you through it.





	All My Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Could you do a Rick x reader? Where the reader has bad scars on her body from encounters with other non-friendly survivors. So, she doesn't trust easy now and is insecure about the scars. She falls for Rick but doesn't think he'd find her attractive

You longed for the days when you could trust people. You did for such a long time and you imagined that was probably your downfall. Trusting others had left you with not only emotional wounds but also physical ones. You couldn’t even think about the things that had been done to you. When there was nothing to lose, people didn’t care what harm they caused. And that left the burden on your shoulders.

During your travels, you’d run into the woods to get away from the latest group of survivors that were trying to hurt you. You wanted to kill them but it was easier to get them lost in the woods so you could just get away from them. At that point, you had completely given up on the idea of ever finding another group. You would just be alone until you died. That was the plan.

Unfortunately, that plan never works.

Another group found you, although much kinder than anyone else you had encountered before, you still wouldn’t trust them. They had taken shelter in a prison which was insane but also clever to you. Still, you refused to sleep in the same cell block. You slept alone in your very own cell block for several weeks following your arrival to the prison. The group brought in quite a few people besides you and it was like its own little community. They even had a council set up. Everyone helped each other out, everyone did their fair share. You weren’t sure how long you planned to stay but you would at least give your wounds time to heal.

The group had given you the space you needed for the most part. Only Rick Grimes had tested your boundaries. At first, it drove you insane and you lashed out at him quite a bit. But now, you were starting to warm up to him despite how hard you tried not to. He seemed almost broken in a way. He didn’t offer any empty promises of everything getting better and you’d forget about all of the bad things. He did reassure you that whatever those other people had done to you, no one in the prison would ever hurt you. And after a while, you started to believe him. He told you that you had friends here and he’d always be there whenever you needed him. That you didn’t believe.

How could he say that to you when he didn’t know you? He didn’t see the scars. He didn’t have to look at them every day like you did. You woke up every morning, disgusted by the scars that marred your skin. Rick would be just as horrified if he ever saw them. You risked heat stroke every day, wearing long sleeves and long pants just to cover them all. And even more embarrassing for you was that you even cared what Rick thought. You couldn’t help but catch feelings for the man. He was the first person to actually try to get to know you. He actually cared. But everything was so delicate, so easily destroyed. You were careful.

You and Rick were working out in the fields. Rick was planting some seeds while you were pulling weeds. You had on your usual long sleeve shirt on and you were soaked in sweat, beads of sweat rolling down your back and down the sides of your head. Your face was bright red but you didn’t want to guzzle down water despite how thirsty you were. You knew water was too precious to drink too much at once.

“Y/N, maybe you should take a break,” Rick remarked, reaching out to touch your arm, “Or change your shirt. You’re looking really red. I don’t want you to overheat.”

“I’m fine, I promise,” you said. You playfully swatted him away, pointing to the opened packets of seeds in the dirt by Rick’s feet, “Come on, we still have a lot to do before sundown. Let’s keep going.”

Rick sighed, lowering back down to his knees, “Sure. Listen, Y/N. It’s been a few months since you got here. You haven’t really warmed up to anyone else around here. Don’t get me wrong, I like hanging out with you. I really do. But everyone else…they…”

“What, they’re afraid of me?” you grumbled, “Annoyed with me? What?”

“No, just concerned,” Rick said, “I know I’ve said this before but you can trust the others. I’ve known most of them since the start. Glenn for instance, he saved my life. And Maggie and her father let us stay when my son got shot.”

“I know they’re good people, okay?” you said, your heart racing, “It’s just…hard.”

Rick nodded, “I know. And I know that you don’t wanna talk about it right now but…I just wish you’d open up to me. I wanna help.”

“I’m just not sure you can,” you replied, “It’s a lot of shit to take in, Rick. I don’t think you’d ever see me the same way if you knew.”

“I’ve seen a lot of shit,” Rick argued, “I think I can take it.”

“Rick!” you exclaimed, aggressively ripping weeds out of the ground. You threw them down as you got up on your feet, “I just can’t, okay?! I can’t! Please, I don’t want your opinion of me to change. And it will if I told you. If you knew. If you saw.”

You turned and started walking back to your cell block. Rick scrambled onto his feet, “Y/N, wait! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have pushed you, alright? That was wrong of me. Please, stop!”

You could barely process Rick’s words as you started feeling faint. Your legs became numb, feeling so lightheaded. To Rick’s dismay, you collapsed like a ton of bricks. Rick ran towards you, scooping you up in his arms without breaking stride.

“Hershel!” he shouted at the top of his lungs, “Hershel! Y/N needs help!”

You bounced around in Rick’s arms as Hershel came out into the yard after hearing his name, “Rick? What happened? Come on, let’s get her inside.”

“We were working and she got up and she just fainted,” Rick explained frantically, “Could be heat stroke. I don’t know.”

“Definitely overheated,” Hershel said, “She’s covered up like this and it’s just too hot for that. Come on, we’ve gotta get her to a cold shower, lower her body temperature a bit.”

Rick nodded and the two of them brought you to the showers in your cell block. Luckily, he’d helped you set up your showers so they would work like everyone else’s in cell block C. He remembered being hesitant to do it as he knew it would isolate you further but you had begged. It had even brought tears to your eyes. You couldn’t stand the thought of sharing a bathroom with another person even with curtains separating you. It was too much for you to handle. Now, he was grateful for doing it. He didn’t want anyone crowding around asking what was wrong. You both needed the space.

“Shouldn’t we um…ya know…strip her?” Rick mumbled awkwardly.

“Let’s just get this long sleeve shirt off for now,” Hershel said, “I’ll look in her cell and see if she has any shorts we can change her into.”

As the cold water beat down on your warm body, Rick peeled off your sweat soaked sweater, gasping in shock at the marks and scars all over your body. Your chest, your stomach, your back, and even your arms. Had you done these to yourself? Or had someone else done them to you? Given that these scars were all over your back, it was clear that these were someone else’s doing.

“I found one pair of shorts,” Hershel said as he came back into the showers. He came to an abrupt halt when he saw Rick running his finger along one of the scars going down your shoulder, “Oh god. What happened to her?”

“I don’t know,” Rick mumbled, “She never wanted to talk about it. Now I feel terrible that I was pushing her so much. Here, I’ll change her into the shorts. If I could just…have a minute with her.”

“Of course,” Hershel said, “I’ll get some water from outside to put in her cell for her when she wakes up. She needs her rest.”

Hershel left you and Rick alone and he took off your boots and took your jeans off, trying to be quick and get your shorts on before you woke up. He set your clothes and shoes aside, waiting under the cold water with you.

The water was shutting off just as you started waking up. The cold water soothed your skin, relieved to be rid of that shirt finally. But you couldn’t remember taking it off yourself. Did someone else take it off of you? You panicked, searching for the shirt to get it back on before a pair of hands grabbed yours.

“Y/N, it’s okay,” Rick said, “It’s just you and me here.”

“Rick,” you said, slipping on the wet linoleum as you tried to stand up, “Rick, why would you take my shirt off? Why?!”

“Hershel thought it was a good idea,” Rick said, “He found a pair of shorts to put on you. We didn’t want you totally exposed.”

“I can’t believe you,” you whimpered, your face crumbling as you tried covering yourself, “I didn’t want you to see this.”

“This is what you thought would change my opinion of you?” Rick said, “Because it doesn’t. These scars…they’re why you wanted to be alone here, why you don’t wanna trust people. Aren’t they?”

You nodded, “Just…not every group has been as nice. That’s all I can say. I hate these scars. I hate them.”

“I’m sorry for all the things that have happened to you,” Rick said, “But I just need you to know that you don’t need to hide these things from me or from anyone here. My heart broke for you, Y/N.”

“So…you’re not totally mortified?” you murmured, lowering your arms a little.

“Of course not,” Rick said, “I really like you, Y/N. I like all of you. And nothing’s gonna chase me away, okay? I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me. Even if you’re never ready, I’m still gonna be right here. These scars just mean that you survived whatever bullshit this world threw at you. That’s pretty damn impressive, Y/N.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

You sighed, “Maybe…maybe one day I can tell you how I got these. It’s just…not the time yet. I’m just glad you don’t mind them. ‘Cause I like you too.”

Rick smiled, leaning in to place a kiss on your cheek, “Good. Come on, Hershel left some water in your cell. Let’s get you dried off and dressed.”

He took you back to your cell and sat you down on your bed, tossing a water bottle your way. You looked around your practically empty cell as Rick searched your bag for a shirt, “Maybe I could move into cell block C with all of you. I think I might be…ya know…ready.”

“That’s great,” Rick said, “I know you’d rather cover your arms but I think it would be best if you wore a short sleeve shirt or a tank top for now.”

“That’s fine,” you said, “I don’t mind. While it’s just you and me anyway. It’ll take some time to let everyone see these.”

Rick laid a tank top down across your lap, “That’ll be fine. Just rest for now, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay from now on.”

A few months ago, that statement would’ve angered you. But now, that promise didn’t feel so empty. Now that your scars were out in the open, you felt a little more free. You would probably always feel insecure about them but at least you could start figuring out how to cope now. Hearing Rick say it would be okay, you believed it.


End file.
